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I found my way to Boulder perfectly fine and am sitting in the most adorable little coffee place ever. Itapos;s called the Laughing Goat and I found it on a "best of boulder" list that I was perusing for things to do. This seems like a really neat area Iapos;ve stumbled into, so I may walk around and poke in and out of little shops. Everyone here is super nice and chatty. I like it here a lot.

Iapos;m really glad I busted ass to get to Sterling last night so I could have some cool exploring time in Boulder today. And then I head to Denver where I meet up with my friendc Rachael and stay with her and her partner, Sarah. Should be good times.

Then tomorrow I drive across Colorado, and then the next day I drive up Utah, until I couchsurf in Salt Lake.

There was this really great moment just before I hit Boulder, where I went over a hill and all of a sudden this valley opened up and you could see the amazing mountains and foliage and the city. It was gorgeous. There will be pictures later.

For now, I will finish my chai and head out to explore this area of the city. Boulder seems so nice.

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I had an idea of what I wanted to do for NaNoWriMo, but I donapos;t think itapos;d fly for 50,000 words nor be particularly satisfying. I have plenty of other ideas, but nothing with legs that I could conceivably push 10,000 with. This is vexing, because I feel like I should be brain-plotting my novel now and bracing myself for words to screen-power.

I think thatapos;s my greatest flaw when it comes to writing. I can spit out a million ideas a minute you know? When it comes to coming up with stuff, Iapos;m practically vomiting stuff out my eyeballs in great streams of inspiration. Trying to carry them the distance however just seems next to impossible, and I canapos;t seem to do it at the best of times.

Iapos;ve still got a good ten or eleven days for proper inspiration to shove me into action I guess. I just wish I could get it out now so I can plan for it, and that way I wonapos;t falter after a strong start like last time (which to be fair on myself, was also a case of "oh boy writing all that certainly fucking ruined my hands").

I mean, hereapos;s what Iapos;ve come up with:
- Glorified Warhammer 40K Fanfiction (Decided against because honestly, I could write on much better things of my own ideas rather than filching from others. Not to say Iapos;d never want to write it, just not for my 50,000 challenge).
- My old "Post-Apocalypse Western Minus Guns" idea that still rattles around in my head. I might work on this... But in all honesty itapos;s the direction I could take it in that eludes me.
- A stream of absolute sickness of the mind. Horrible things and images that make no sense and confuse and disturb the reader. A big avant garde work basically. Could not hope to carry it for 50,000.
- Rant. One long, laborious rant with no point or end. Could get to 50,000 but fffffffffff.

And just popping into my head now is an idea that might actually have legs to it Funny how inspiration smites you when youapos;re complaining about not having it. A story set in a sort of bizarre semi-lawless sci-fi city which looks like Las Vegas and Tokyo got really drunk and what happened did in fact stay in Vegas with its tall bright, horrible barf-inducing tacky neon glow. One man who has inexplicably managed to kill at least one person every year (and once older and doing it more often) upsets the balance of the underworld when he kills the carrier of an incredibly important and valuable item for reasons I may never even bother explaining. Everyone wants it and is willing to kill for it, whatever the hell it is. The main character is just willing to kill. Obviously the piece would have to be for humour because I canapos;t take this idea seriously, so I might just make some of the foes faced by the main character spoofs of whatever I can think of at the time (mental note: One of the underworldapos;s heavies needs to have four flashing panels on the underside of his body). Resolution may be achieved, but to be honest Iapos;ll worry about actually finishing the story when I run out of words and bodies (thereapos;ll be more to this I... Just need to actually work on it).

Okay ignore the first half of this post, I have my horrible, horrible idea and the solution to what happens if the story runs out of momentum.

Regain momentum through meaningless violence.

Now to think of a name and to conjure up a series of absolutely shitty characterizations for the main character to chew through. I donapos;t care if this ends up being "Ridiculous Video Game idea in novel form", Iapos;ma gonna do it.

Assuming I donapos;t think of something better.

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I am so politically illerterate it shocks me. I get online and ask friends for advice on the matter and get these really great websites that talk about the issues.....but Im reading it and not understanding a freaking word. Al my school friends are all apos;vote for mccain, hes against abortion and gay marraigeapos; which is great and all.....but thats not as important to me these days as things like how the fuck they plan to get this econmy fixed....but I�dont understand who has the better plan for this bc I dont understand what happend in the first place or whos telling the truth about their respective plans�AHHHH�lol Whats an ignorant girl to do with only a few weeks left to figure it out???
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My grandmother has stage IV cancer (I donapos;t know which kind), which was found during a second operation, so sheapos;ll have to get a third. I thought about it, and Iapos;m not really that upset. I mean, I donapos;t want her to suffer and waste away with this cancer and I hope that wonapos;t be what happens, but I know how sad and lonely sheapos;s been since grandpa died and so I donapos;t really think it would be that bad a thing if she dies soon. Iapos;m glad that I made an effort to see her and grandpa more often since I finished at ASU, but if she dies and Iapos;m still here, I donapos;t think Iapos;ll go to her funeral either. It sounds like a really lame excuse, but I donapos;t get very upset about things like this and I feel like if I have to be around grieving people when Iapos;m not grieving, it will kind of detract from the mood of the occasion and to some extent invalidate their grief.

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Had basketball session and sakae today with my ex-class. Was good cause we laugh real hard at all their actions and stuffs.

so during sakae was us gals chattin serious chats man. But was good.

then we went out and sit from 6 all the way to 9+ serious chats and was trying o give advices and all. And i realise i have seen all of them alr. All the kinds mention/all that they would do and many more. I didnt that that you turn out to be like that but yea it happened. It makes me think real hard about myself too good reflection.

i didnt know this bad it can turn out to be have i tell you, you have very high tolerance level and i am not as good as what you all said. Really.
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Way back during the Primary season, I bought an "Obama apos;08" button off the Barack Obama website -- back when you could buy things off the website and swag eventually showed at your door. I pinned this bland blue and white pin to my lapel and wandered around downtown Silver Spring where the pin made a bunch of friends.

I am back to wearing my jacket with the pin but I have added a second pin: a ROBOTS FOR OBAMA pin. You see, even my Robot Overlords are awaiting His Hawtness. People seem shocked that:

A. I have been supporting Obama since the time Mark Warner dropped out of his Presidential Exploratory Bid.
B. I have been wearing my blue button for near forever.

Today, for some strange reason, my pins made extra special pin friends.

PF#1: Walking out of Borderapos;s today, a pudgy white guy in glasses stopped me and announced: "I LOVE YOUR BUTTON"

PF#2: I was kidnapped by our Marketing Director at work who wanted to use me to prove to our CFO that "even white girls support Obama," using my bizarre collections of pins as proof. This descended into a weird conversation about race and race relations and Obama and Reconstruction () and an end to racism. I said, "Well, I think heapos;s hot" and that sent an entire aisle of people into laughing fits. Later, several people walked over to rub my Obama bobble head for luck. No doubt, I will be mocked further tomorrow.

PF#3: I went to Columbia Sport Spine and the (okay, black, yes) receptionist looked at my buttons and just wanted to talk and talk and talk and talk and about Obama and everything there is about him. And oh yes it is wonderful that I support him so openly. I pointed out that my Robot Overlords support Obama and received an odd look.

So the pins continue to do their job -- stir up trouble But mostly for me.
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The machine was never cruel. It never lied, or failed, or died. It knew the answers to the questions worth asking. The machine was never petty. It never disagreed, misunderstood, or condemned. It let me into the world worth reaching. The machine was never wrong. It never laughed, or cried, or spit. It cut into the meat worth tasting.


I sleep in its light. I am comforted by its glow, warm and soft like peeled summer. Its thoughts are my thoughts. My words are its words. We are in agreement and everything is mutual.

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I took the dogs on an uberwalk to the ISU campus today. I was gone about 2 hours. This is the result:

1. The only thing college students swoon over more than free food are dogs.

2. No matter how old they are, theatre students are obnoxious. And no matter how old *I* am, I will feel completely at home with them.

3. When did it become alright to wear bedroom slippers in public??? As in, instead of putting on shoes to go to class?

4. When your pansy-ass dog decides heapos;s going to wrap himself up in the leash, and then go apeshit because he sees another dog across the street, he will inevitably tangle himself up even more, causing him to scream like heapos;s being disemboweled while you run across the street to avoid getting hit by a car, which will bring the neighbors to their windows to shoot you disapproving looks.

5. Old ladies are awesome.
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